Happy New Year
…. first and foremost.


I know what most of you guys have been asking yourselves incessantly at night for the past few weeks ….


Where’s veve and why has he not informed us of his whereabouts?


Well …. I have returned from wherever I was and fear not citizens … for I am back and ready for action.





Now Playing: How to be Dead by Snow Patrol … I don’t shy away from a catchy song no matter the consequence. I think my sisters can attest to this as I know all the words to Ciara’s “My Goodies” with moans included.



winter vacation:
I suppose that the most fitting place to start would be at the start of my winter vacation.


My parents, for the past two weeks, have been out of the country and are in China right now. I’m not exactly sure what they’re doing over there, but I’m sure that they’re high-fiving their old college friends multiple times, getting drunk, and partying it up at this very moment. I exagerate …. but that last sentence sure brings about a funny visual.


My sibling Shirley (you are not worthy to be called sister) has returned from New York for the holidays and, the already home-ridden, Shu-wen is still at home rotting on the couch. Distance may part us …. but whenever the three of us are together …. we are Captain Planet.


Having the house all to ourselves for the past few weeks has been a frightening experience to say the least. When you have three ill-abled cooks (actually … Shu-wen gets by), living at home is really terrifying. We’ve had to scrounge and leech food from the holiday dinners we’ve attended. 


On the bright side, we’ve only a few hours left till we’ve an able cook in the house. I’m actually quite proud of us Wangs, having survived these weeks and having sustained on three-day leftovers. At least we didn’t have to result to cannibalism …. as my calculations say otherwise.


the ski trip:
It is tradition that us Wangs go on a ski trip every year during our winter vacation. This year’s circumstances were a bit different … seeing how our parents were out of the country and were away to themselves for the first time in years. However, this small fact didn’t stop us at all. My future brother-in-law, Dave, three of his friends, and us three Wangs (sounds a bit perverted) went on a small ski trip to Pennsylvania to a mountain oh-so-familiar to us, Camelback.


It was a good trip ….. the skiing proved to be very strenuous on my muscles … more particularly my groin muscles. Not that you wanted to know or anything. I suppose that the daily 100-some-odd lunges I do at night in the nude have not paid off. How’s that for a visual!


I go on to say without hesitating that the absolute best part of skiing is going on the ski lift. It really is …. On the rides up, you can see the stranded ship-wrecked ski’ers on the bunny slope …. and you can hear their faint calls of help which are followed by groans of pain.


This year I decided to tackle a Black Diamond. To those of you who aren’t slope savvy, each trail is marked by three specific signs which basically indicate the difficulty of the slope. Green Circle stands for easy, Blue Square stands for intermediate, Black Diamond stands for expert. My sister Shu-wen and I were the only ones out of the bunch who were courageous enough to tackle the demon that is. We stood there watching these other skiers ski gracefully down the black diamond, shifting from side to side in a magnificent combination of movements. My sister proceeded to go down first …. and, in seconds, managed to go off-course and crash into an already stranded skier.


I went down next and surprisingly did not fall at all. However, what occurred wasn’t all that pretty either. I went down flailing my arms out to my sides like a flightless bird and I managed to somehow successfully ski down balanced on one ski while my other ski was in the air trying to find the ground. As I flapped my vestigial wings, I zoomed past other skiers who as I imagine had their mouths agape at the beautiful sight that they had been witnessing. The ironic part of this all is that when it turned into a green circle …. I fell flat on my face. And then I pooped my pants.



the social phenomenon that is Garden State:
On returning from our trip in the mountains, we came back to find a parcel on our front porch. In it was the Lord of the Rings : ROTK extended dvd and the Garden State dvd.


The ROTK dvd proves to be a dvd junkie’s dream and is packed with two whopping special features dvds while the Garden State dvd is a bit bare. Moreover, the Garden State dvd doesn’t even include the trailers which birthed the whole hysteria. I won’t say that I’m disappointed ….. because at least the dvd came with the movie …. as one would certainly expect. The dvd does, however, come with two very juicy deleted scenes ….. scenes that I believe would have strengthened the film more than anything. Hopefully they don’t come out with a Special Collector’s Edition a few weeks from now …… as the workers at Focus Features felt was necessary for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was literally days after I got the dvd that a 2-disc dvd was announced for release. Bullocks!



best of 2004:
The year 2004 has gone and passed …. and I find it only proper to make a list of Best ______ in commemoration.


best movies of 2004 (that I’ve seen)





best albums of 2004 (that I’ve listened to)



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my locker:
There’s a freshman who uses the locker beneath mine.
I accidentally drop textbooks on his face.
I think he hates me ….
He acts like it’s fine but I imagine that he cries himself to sleep.
I hope he doesn’t think I’m one of those asshole seniors who will literally tackle random underclassmen in the hallways.
In total, I’ve dropped 4 textbooks on his face and also whacked him in the face with my locker door.
He’s a trooper.

I got my egg baby a few days ago …. his name is Thor Godofthunder
He resides in my locker ….
Hopefully, I don’t drop it on the kid’s face ….
God forbid the egg breaks ….

i don’t like chinese people:
Seeing how I, myself, am chinese, I’ve determined that I have the privilege to insult those of my own race without suffering the consequences of being called a racist. So I’ll start off with this …. I don’t like chinese people …. specifically those who reside in Marlboro. 

Although I have a few choice asian friends, I find that I mesh better with the caucasian crowd. The asian population of Marlboro is either superficial or extremely uptight. I like to think of myself as a mellow, down-to-earth young fellow who can be moderately funny at times.

The problem with the asian masses is that many are mindless fools, albeit “determined”, who are unable to think for themselves. And evidentily, my kind are extremely pretentious and judgemental … but that’s besides the point.

You see … although many are academically determined, some are just absolutely anal and inconsiderate. I don’t mind if you’re smart … but if you make it a habit to make it the topic of discussion … then there’s definitely something wrong. Because in reality, if you’re a bright young lad, I’ll admire you. If you’re anal about it, I’ll kick you in the nuts real hard …. even if you’re a girl.


I’m sporting the Q-Tip again …. and luckily just in time for the holidays …. thanks Hair Care!






Now Playing: Bend and Break by Keane … I remember reading an article about this band a year or so ago and I have no idea why I haven’t gotten into them until now … They have the vocals of Travis mixed with the piano of Coldplay … terrific!



on the road:
Every morning after I drop my sister off at the train station, I have to drive straight to school … and on my way there I have to go down Rt. 34. Granted it is all just a 2 minute drive …. however, when you go down Rt. 34 at 8:00 in the morning, you will know that the sun is right on the horizon and is facing towards you. So in lamens terms, I have to stare straight into the sun for a good 2 minutes in order to get to school every morning. Straight into the sun! For two minutes!



my short film:
The Mason Gross School of Arts sent me a letter the other day requesting that I send in 10 slides of my work or a 10 minute short film as a supplement with my application. Of course, I am stupid and had no idea that it was required that I send in any of my work …. not that I have any to begin with.


However, I feel that now is the perfect opportunity to start working up with something …. so I’ve decided that after I get all my applications done … I will focus on directing a short film. I’ve been trying to muster up some ideas … preferably a simple one that doesn’t require multiple actors/actresses or that I spend money on.


Maybe I’ll just do a short film on the life of an apple .. seeing that if I were to buy an apple, it would be a good investment because then I could just eat it afterwards ….  or make one using my super cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures.



college:
Lately, I have been really, really confused … especially with matters concerning college. Usually whenever an asian parent approaches me with the question … “what do you plan on majoring in in college?”  … I give a smug answer and respond “ohh *chuckle* … I’m not exactly sure …. I’m a bit undecided at the moment” … when in reality, the back of my mind is telling me to say film.


Perhaps its because I already know how they would react if I were to say that … perhaps its because I’m not at all confident in the idea of pursuing something I have no experience in. Naturally, I don’t think any human should be confident in this particular situation, but thats besides the point … perhaps its because I realize that there are absolutely no job opportunities for those with a degree in film …. To be honest, the one thing I fear most is that I will spend all of college working up to a degree that will neither benefit nor help me in any way. That’s why I hope to make a short film and send it in to see if I have any potential to work off of.


I won’t lie … there’s something about the “starving artist” image that appeals to me … perhaps its because they’ve found the perfect medium of happiness and purpose. And I don’t mean to say that all artists are happy … because I’m sure that most of them aren’t …. but at least they have their art to fall back on. Its ignorant of me to say that I want to be poor when I grow up …. and I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what it’s like to be poor … but I definitely know that expensive cars and big houses don’t appeal to me … as long as I have a box of Dino Buddies by my side … I’ll be happy.


Perhaps I am demonstrating my biggest fault at this very moment, my idealistic and uninformed views on society. I should probably be more concerned about getting into college than thinking about this kind of stuff.


 

[insert segway to post here]





Now Playing: Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs …. I’m kind of jumping on the MTV bandwagon here, but I like them nonetheless


So I’ve been 17 for a while now and I have to admit that it is quite different from any other age. The fact that I can drive by myself hasn’t quite sunk in yet …. I always imagined myself taking these little roadtrips in the rain listening to music. I don’t think I’ll be doing that anytime soon … I’m terrified of driving in the rain. I really am. One word – Hydroplaning. Driver’s Ed will scare you poopless.


Now that I am 17, I like to look back on my childhood now. And when I see pictures of myself when I was little, I think to myself “Ahhh yes … I was young once  … and hyperactive … and flexible” (really … I was … I could practically do a split). And I would remember when my sisters and I would videotape our renditions of “The Twilight Zone” ….. something we called “The Toilet Zone”, where a man would be taking a crap and be sucked in by a toilet monster. Needless to say, I was the toilet monster …. at the age of 6 … my how I’ve grown old.


Go Red Sox:
Can’t say I’m much of a baseball fan … but as our Constitution states(?), it is our duty to watch baseball …. and watched I did. I gotta hand it to the Red Sox though …. they played great …. especially the Jesus man. I knew it was over after that grand slam in the second inning off of the first pitch of the pitching change …


My condolences go out to Kevin Brown. Its sad when a great pitcher gets hurt and deteriorates before your eyes …. I’m sure Steinbrenner’s writing his ticket out of Yankee-ville right now.


After the game, I could only wonder how my Yankees loving grandmother would take this. I felt I should call her to console her … I would imagine the conversation going like this …..


  me: Ah poi (grandmother) …. it’ll be alright. They’ll get em next year.
  ah poi: Oh … I know. I just wanted to see them go to the World Series this year.
  me: Just think of it this way …. over the off-season they’ll make a lot of changes to their lineup and they’ll be better than ever.
  ah poi: Thanks. I feel much better now. My love for the Yankees will never falter.

But get this … she doesn’t know an ounce of english. HOW FREAKY IS THAT?! (note: this whole thing sounded a lot better in my head)


School anti-violence week
This week is anti-violence week for our school and this basically entails that we attend assemblies on violence and such. Having gone through this last year, I knew what to expect.


I’ve come to learn that this week is the week where they tell the guys that when a girl says no … it means no …. and when they say yes …. it also means no … 


And unlike the guys, the girls are told to defend themselves in a threatening situation …. which basically translates into “Here. Take these lessons from Tiger Schulman’s Karate. Make sure that if a guy touches you, you kick him real hard in the balls.”


My how I love our school system.


Filmeezy Fo Sympeezy (aka Filmmakers’ Symposium):
Fifth week of Symposium has come to an end …
This week’s film was called Sideways which has also been an eagerly awaited film of mine …
All thanks to my Fox Searchlight film scavenging …


Something I feel I must add …
is that this film is THE best reviewed movie of the year …
topping that of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
And the fact that it was the closing film of the New York Film Festival …
is also something that I must not forget to mention …
Thanks IMDB *hi five* …
(yes I am aware that I just hi five’d IMDB)

But I also believe that this film deserves much more than some vague review … so I guess I will start here.

Sideways is the newest feature film by Alexander Payne (director of the recent hit About Schmidt) and while I was aware of its acclaim amongst critics everywhere before watching the movie …. I really wasn’t sure what to expect. Being a semi-fan of About Schmidt, I expected to laugh a little while watching Sideways, but honestly … nothing more. Needless to say, the film was nothing short of hilarious and genius.


The premise of the movie isn’t anything attention grabbing or something to gloat about. In fact, the premise of the movie is downright boring. “Miles Raymond, a recently divorced failed writer, takes his old pal and formerly famous actor pal Jack on a weeklong drive to ‘wine country’ in California, where they explore their failed relationships and lives.” A plot so boring that even I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst of enemies. The way Payne manifests this movie into an endearing film still boggles me ….

What was most odd about this film …. was its casting. And its not to say that the casting was bad …. in fact, it was actually phenomenal. Its not everyday that a director of Alexander Payne’s stature decides to go from a movie, which achieves high esteem at the Oscars, like About Schmidt to a movie like Sideways from a casting point of view. Payne could have easily gone with the high profile stars to market this film than to have stayed true to the movie. As a matter of fact, the night’s guest was the casting director … and she mentioned that George Clooney, Russel Crowe, and Jennifer Connelly all expressed interest in being in the film.


It seems that Alexander Payne’s decision to stay with his original cast was a very good one …. considering the oscar buzz that this film has been getting – Best Picture (huge longshot in my opinion, but what do I know) and Best Actor (Paul Giamatti). Oscar buzz seems to have become my favorite thing these days … Curses!


Projected release date: October 22nd
Final Verdict: Highly Recommended A-


 

I am 17 now. Time to celebrate with a post biatches





Now Playing: Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra (ELO)…. I am in an ESotSM type of mood today.


I fear my posts have become a bit formulaic and predictable as of late …. You all are probably expecting a boring movie review … but YOU ARE WRONG. Instead, it will be SHORT and INTERESTING and YOU WILL LIKE IT. thanks


Filmeezy Fo Sympeezy (aka Filmmakers’ Symposium):
Fourth week of Symposium ….
Film was called P.S. ….
It stars Laura Linney and Topher Grace ….
By far the worst film I’ve seen in quite some time (leaving out the obviously bad ones) ….
Started out promising but at the end ultimately fails to satisfy …
Don’t watch it ….
By all means don’t watch it ….
It was boring and pretentious ….
I care not to go on about this horrible movie ….

Oh yea …. Topher Grace stopped by at the symposium….
Cool guy ….
He seemed a bit uncomfortable ….
since everyone there at the symposium was 40 years old and had no idea what That 70’s Show was ….
I am not 40 years old …..
I am in fact 17 years old ….
He was surprisingly good in the film though to say the least ….

I like Dino Buddies ….


My License:
Having turned 17, it is natural that you be late for a day of school to take the driver’s test. And it was no different for me …. in fact I decided to take the whole day off cause I am awesome like that.


I am normally calm when I drive, but for some reason, on the day of the test, I was extremely nervous. And even though the driving course is the equivalent of remembering to breathe (something that I sometimes forget to do), I still felt an extreme amount of pressure. I feared that I would have forgotten to signal and then, as a result, swerve into a tree (because that’s everyone’s initial reaction when forgetting to do something …. swerve into a tree).


I also have this tremendous fear of spontaneously combusting … which is definitely quite weird and awkward. Like in the process of doing a turn, the car would just spontaneously combust in result of a mistake I made. Its actually quite comical to think about. Coming to think about it, DMV should pick up on this idea  …. when a student makes a mistake, they explode. That would definitely make everyone scared.


Usually when I am nervous, I go through the worst case scenario in my mind beforehand. I thought of what exactly I should say to my instructor … if I should seduce him/her with a little skin action. And then I thought of the worst thing that could happen …. 

  instructor: Hello there, How are you doing today?;
  me: I am doing quite fine today, thank you for asking
  instructor: Well that’s good *scribbles on sheet*, so what is your name again? ….
  me: MY NAME?! I’m Victor Wang BITCH! *slap*

  *spontaneous explosion*


So yea … that isn’t what really happened. I managed to get my license without swerving into any trees or spontaneously combusting … so that’s good. It’s always a good day when you don’t spontaneously combust.


Can’t think of a title:
I feel that I must mention something as an ode to my two wonderful siblings (the Wang trio we are called) …. and I’d like to announce that …. I am now a proud new owner of an Ipod.


I know what you all are thinking …. Nope that’s not my sexy hand or my sexy mole for that matter … nor is it the color of my Ipod … but you sure get the idea don’t you? My Ipod is half full …. I need more songs. Open for suggestions.


I also got Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Shawshank Redemption on DVD … much thanks again.


I guess that’s it for now …. hopefully this will hold you guys down for now …


 

Yea … I’m a loser, I’m posting on a Saturday Night … a night that really should be dedicated to filling out college applications. And by filling out college applications, I mean doing the essays for college applications. And by doing the essays for college applications, I mean staring mindlessly at the screen at the question that you need to answer. And by staring mindlessly at the screen at the question that you need to answer, I mean procrastinating and posting on Xanga. AH HAH! I HAVE DEFEATED THE SYSTEM!


Now for some random thoughts ….


Contacts:
Word of advice …. when you wake up in the morning and go to the bathroom to put your contacts in … do not proceed to stick the contact that you clumsily dropped in toothpaste residue a few seconds ago into your eye. Your eye will water rapidly for a second or two and then dry up like a bitch afterwards …. so when you try to remove your dried-out contact, you’re not completely sure if what you are touching is actually the membrane of your EYE or the contact itself. Trust me … you do not want to try taking out what MIGHT be your contact when actuality is the membrane of your EYE. I speak with experience.


White Houses:
That new Vanessa Carlton song is actually pretty good … Catchy enough to spur movement in one’s limbs and set off a chain reaction of dance moves that include the robot and the ass-wave … the ass-wave being a different version of the booty-shake where your butt moves around in a circular motion as if you were painting an imaginary wall with your buttocks. And while you’re dancing it also sets off a chain of grunts, where the listener grunts “UH!” to each beat. And after a few minutes of displaying these motions and sounds … you realize that you’re alone in your room dancing to Vanessa Carlton, so you look around to see if anyone else has been watching you and you slowly stop and pretend that nothing ever happened … And by all means I am not admitting that I myself do this. Oh no of course not …. but I do have to admit that it is a magical song. It has the magical ability to make you feel a tremendous feeling of alienation to yourself and it makes you re-evaluate yourself as a human being. I fear that I am becoming a white chick … *stabs self in eye*


Bowflex:
Being the avid watcher of television, I come across many Bowflex commercials. These commercials stir up a certain feeling of anger inside of me and I have no clue why. If you are going to make a commercial for an exercise equipment, I want to see an extremely overweight/out-of-shape man using the machine and I want to see the fat magically disappear off of his body before my eyes. Not only would this make for a good commercial, but it would also be extremely entertaining watching an obese man exercise.


The Complex Life of a Six Year Old:
My journals as a six year old (neglecting to call them “diaries” in attempts to salvage all that’s left of my masculinity) prove to provide hours upon hours of laughter and entertainment. My entries would consist of me telling my journal of what I had eaten that day and what I had done… So taken out of context, one of my entries would go like …

“I ate a plum and a potato today … then I played video games and wrote in my journal”


And it would basically be the same exact entry for days and days to come until the time where I would occasionally go outside to play basketball. I also find it hilarious that while writing in my journal, I felt obligated to write that “I wrote in my journal today”. That, my friends, is a new all-time low for stupidity.



Random Thoughts
I enjoy eating my mother’s potato salad …. it is a gift from the Gods, even though it is the nutritional equivalent of injecting pure cholesterol into your arteries. Ohhh yesss … *drools*

The Postal Service sounds ten times better with headphones. And speaking of The Postal Service, their song “Such Great Heights” is being used in so many freaking commercials now. Watch out guys, they are breaking out into pop culture … *tear runs down cheek*



So I guess you guys are dying to find out how my first days of school went …. No you say? Are you sure? Okay then. I won’t bore you. I’ll talk about my weekend instead … I suppose that will have to suffice.


I went to Boston over the weekend to check out some colleges – mainly just to check out Boston College and Boston University …. but having asian parents, it was NECESSARY to check out Harvard and MIT even though I really have no interest in applying to those colleges (or chance in getting into those colleges I should say). I guess it was their own little way of coping with the fact that none of their children were smart enough to go there.


Harvard proves to be one of the most depressing campuses I’ve ever seen. There was just an air of evilness and darkness that overwhelmed the campus despite the beautiful weather that Boston had been experiencing that day. The campus was so barren and so boring … I imagine all of the students studying away in their rooms for a multiple-choice test the following morning on The True Meaning of Human Existence. Perhaps an excerpt from Conan O’Brien’s commencement speech to the graduating Harvard class of 2000 will better explain what Harvard is like.



 





Students of the Harvard class of 2000, 15 years ago I sat where you sit now. And I thought exactly what you are now thinking. What’s going to happen to me? Will I find my place in the world? Am I really graduating a virgin? Still have 24 hours. Roommate’s mom very hot. Swear she’s checking me out. There was that Rob Lowe movie.

You see, in those days, I was 6 feet 4 inches tall and I weighed 150 pounds. True. Recently, I had some structural engineers run those numbers into a computer model, and according to the computer, I collapsed in 1987, killing hundreds in Taiwan.

After freshman year, I moved to Mather House. Mather House, incidentally, was designed by the same firm that built Hitler’s bunker. In fact, if Hitler had conducted the war from Mather House, he would have shot himself a year earlier. Saved us a lot of trouble.

There’s also sadness today. A feeling of loss that you’re leaving Harvard forever. Let me assure you that you never really leave Harvard. The Harvard fundraising committee will be on your ass until the day you die.

You see, kids, you’re in for a lifetime of “And you went to Harvard?” Accidentally give the wrong amount of change in a transaction, and it’s “And you went to Harvard?” Ask at the hardware store how the jumper cables work, and hear “And you went to Harvard?” Forget just once that your underwear goes inside your pants, and it’s “And you went to Harvard?” Get your head stuck in your niece’s doll house ’cause you want to see what it’s like to be a giant, and it’s “Uncle Conan, you went to Harvard?”

If you’ll indulge me for just a second, I’d like to read a little something from just this year. “Somehow, Conan O’Brien has transformed himself into the brightest star in the late-night firmament. His comedy is the gold standard, and Conan himself is not only the quickest and most inventive wit of his generation, but quite possibly the greatest host ever.”

Ladies and gentlemen, class of 2000, I wrote that this morning. As proof that when all else fails, you always have delusion. I will go now to make bigger mistakes and to embarrass this fine institution even more. But let me leave you with one last thought. If you can laugh at yourself, loud and hard, every time you fall, people will think you’re drunk. Thank you.







And you thought the Garden State soundtrack was the must have for this summer …


Wicker Park Soundtrack Listings






































































1. Maybe Tomorrow – Stereophonics    
2. Everybody Is Somebody – Lifehouse (exclusive)    
3. A Movie Script Ending – Death Cab for Cutie (acoustic version)    
4. How to Be Dead – Snow Patrol    
5. Lover’s Spit – Broken Social Scene    
6. Retour A Vega – The Stills    
7. Flowers in December – Mazzy Star    
8. When the Day is Gone – The Legends    
9. When I Goosestep – The Shins (rare non album track)    
10. Light Switch – Jaime Wyatt    
11. These Days – Mates of State    
12. All I Do – +/-    
13. We All Have a Map of the Piano – Mum    
14. Against All Odds – Postal Service (rare non album track)    
15. Strange and Beautiful – Aqualung    
16. I Know You Are But What Am I? – Mogwai    
17. The Scientist – Johnette Napolitano & Danny Lohner (exclusive)    


So many freaking exclusive tracks …. *drools* . I’ll settle for the soundtrack instead of the movie thank you.